MOMTIME #9 SUMMER IN THE 'BURBS

BECK

SNAPSHOTS FROM MAINE

SURGERY

HOUSEWIFE QUIZ

UNSCHOOLING

BOOK REVIEWS ( BECAUSE I SAID SO, MOMLIT 2005)

DISNEY

REFLECTIONS OF A 3 YR OLD'S SUMMER

STAR WARS

MUSIC REVIEWS ( SCOUT NIBLETT, SLEATER-KINNEY, WHITE STRIPES)

WEDDING TIME

FOOD ( PESTO GENOVESE W/GREEN BEANS & POTATOES)

SUMMER GARDENING

WORKING MAMA

DAYS LIKE THESE

INTRO:

i don't have much to say for this issue's intro. we're having a full summer, trying to stay away from the tv and out in the sun. hope everyone is having a wonderful summer. sorry for the cheesy intro.

UNSCHOOLING

...little by little motherhood has brought me closer to my ideal way of life. being a mom has forced me to take a new look at the world and culture surrounding us. it has not always led me down the path i expected. lately i have been obsessed with education. though my son is just 3 i have already begun to worry. i have been looking into homeschooling an alternative schools.

i had expected my less than straight laced hubby to be on board but his reaction has shocked me. when i tell my husband i am ready to move, he laughs. oh that's something we'll do in 30 years he says. when i bring up homeschooling he scoffs, that's a nice thought but not a reality, he replies. he talks about leaving it all behind but he spends every night in front of the tv...

WEDDING TIME

...when i got home i did indeed try on the 'miracle shaper', more commonly known as a girdle. i was happy to see it did indeed fit, however this girdle was in the shape of a one piece bathing suit, complete with built in bra. as far as i could tell you stepped into it and pulled it up much like pantyhosing your whole body...

...that morning i had banned dan from watching me get dressed. a few years back he had opened his eyes one morning to find me tugging on my underwear up over my tights in an attempt to keep them up. "am i having some sort of dream where you're a super hero?" he mumbled...

once i am able to upload pics again i will add cover photo and comix to this entry.

MOMTIME #8 MELTDOWN

one super late issue ( if you give a mama an evening...)

a day in the life

one bad mutha

what once was

anit social mama

that was then

intermission

...this is now

thoughts on a day

book reviews ( life's work & welcome to higby)

breakin down the house

music reviews ( ani, tegan & sara, beck)

intro:

i've always thought to be balanced in one's life was a noble thing. my life seems to be a constant struggle to keep it on an even keel.

writing is a way i've used to balance me. when i've got a million things running through my head and a billion more to do, writing helps me release some of that steam. i don't often have the time/patience/ concentration to rewrite and have every piece just so. i have however wrtten myself into a corner.

in the beginning the idea of doing my own zine was so exciting, so freeing. now it's just another push, leaving me further from the center i crave.

i constantly worry about offending the audience i've drawn. there is so much one can write that will possibly offend or even alienate. religion is often taboo, something only to be mentioned in passing. discipline is a touchy (no pun intended) subject.

to me balance is calmness and yet my life is anything but.

since balance is such a goal for me and the only thing i can control ( marginally) is my art, my art becomes balanced, read boring. i tend to stick to the details of my day. when i branch out and write about anything besides said events , blah, nothing. balance.

it's not that i strive to offend i just don't want to be so worried about possibly doing it.

perhaps balance is a pipe dream or worse, an evil. i always thought being a 'fiery italian' was part of my charm. passion is a good quality, right?

who the hell needs balance?!

anyhoo, without further ado here is momtime #8 in all it's unbalanced, uneven, and bumpy glory.

if you give a mama an evening...

if you give a mama an evening she'll be giddy with the prospect of so much time alone. which will make her think about the coffee cup that took so much time to drink & is now 1/2 full of dark sludge.

she'll take it to the sink and see all the dirty dishes threatening to grow mold, so she'll wash them.

once she is done with that she will probably remember the load of laundry in the dryer...

anti social mama

we bond with people over simple coincidences all the time. from the shared enjoyment of a band to the daily grind of a job. take away these flimsy buffers and what once felt like a strong bond turns to a slight acquaintance at best...

...sitting in the library myself one day, quite content to flip through a book while j played, i was trying to keep my head down so as not to get involved in some painfully polite conversation with another mom...

breakin' down the house

...j and i finally got ourselves together and headed out. first j had to pick the perfect toy to bring, then we had to negotiate the right jacket and lastly i had to convince j to wear shoes. then , i realized i had locked us in the mud room and out of the house...

...suddenly i had a thought, i would break in ala mcguyver. i found a bobby pin and tried to jimmy the lock. when that got stuck i threw myself against the door while trying to yank out the mangled pin. it was then i realized i could very possibly break the door in...

...am having trouble uploading pictures, will add cover photo when able.

MOMTIME #7 - THE FAUX PARENTING MAG ISSUE

WHAT'S INSIDE

ARTS & CRAFTS fun crafts to waste that precious nap time

IT HAPPENED TO ME all terrifingly true tales

dirrty

fun at the pharmacy

poop happens

HEALTH & BEAUTYkeeping up appearnaces during winter

cold season

marvelous mom makeover!

winter fashion 2004

call me lloyd

HOME IMPROVEMENTwhip your household into shape

painting

20 uses for your child's artwork

backseat driver

WHAT IT'S LIKE living the life of an unhip mama

what the @$*%!

FOOD fatten up! cold weather's a comin'!

adventures in cooking

recipes

dinner with my son

how to lose the baby fat

REVIEWS i like it, i didn't , eh...

books & music

DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUESthe life we live

me cookie monster

discipline 101

how to raise a spoiled brat

i want it!

i am my own worst enemy

SEXnow that's what i'm talking about

date night

sex & the tired mama

happy anniversary to us

LETTER FROM A ZINE - STER

*ode to a treadmill*

after i got all the whinning ( well almost) out of my system in the last issue, i regrouped, thanks to support from family, friends, fellow mamas, and my treadmill. i remembered how wonderful working out feels when you are completely frustrated with life. i didn't really have a shining moment of enlightenment, i simply began to walk... and listen to obnoxious music really loud while doing so.

the end result is i'm not in any better shape...yet, but i rediscovered my love of creating a zine, so here it is...#7, my version of a parenting mag.

HOW TO LOSE THE BABY FAT, AND GAIN YOUR OWN DAMN POUNDS!

....#2 not long after giving birth the thirst began, between breast feeding and sleepless nights there was once a time you could not get enough water into your body. your body was on an adrenaline high and you felt you could do anything... for those first, okay 2 weeks. now there is no way you can start a day without coffee, and folgers ain't doing it. in a world full of starbucks where the mighty mocha made with 4 shots of espresso reigns supreme one never needs to drink plain old water again. sure all that syrup and heavy cream are going straight to your thighs but how else are you going to stay awake?

MOMTIME #6 ...NO APPLAUSE PLEASE

one forgetful mom

pool time

binki wars, cont.

showering with a toddler

i walk the line

chicka chicka boom boom

recipie bonanza

community

things i like (books, music, etc) centerfold

dr. magoo

having another?

park trouble

potty training diary

overindulgent?

scenes from a targe

vaca '04

getting preggers the second time around

INTRO: SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE HER STOP!

at only #6 i'm wondering whether i will continue with momtime after this issue. i feel whinny. i feel depressed. i feel i have nothing to say past my sadness. i know i'm not the only woman to ever have trouble getting preggers the second time around. i know there are many women who don't even get one time around. i know, i know, i know.

i'm really down and i don't know want to do this if i can't write about the humor and ridiculousness of days as a parent. revisiting our days with humor is what draws me to this zine. i can't do it if all i'm doing is wallowing in sadness.

hopefully the next months will bring me new life in more ways than one. just today the fall came and blew away the stagnant summer air. change is all around and i'm trying to embrace it.

i promise i won't come back if i'm still in this funk.

MOMTIME #5 - THE AFTERMATH

mother's day

family bathroom time

no more stuffed animals, please!

playing house, part 1

lesson from an aardvark

things i learned from death

they call her the yeller

binky wars

playing house, part 2

work

welcome summer

the magic kingdom

getting dressed comix

me & my kiki photo spread

music to dance to ska reviewed

books, books, books

look at this mess!

what a little angel

sugar, sugar

INTRO:

this issue truly is the aftermath. i was unable to work on any of the pieces like i planned. many feel more like sketches than essays because i am tapped. it's been 3 months but i am still reeling from death. i've tried to make this issue a little lighter and so there is less emphasis on writing than usual. maybe it's for the better. i'm hoping to clear my mind in the sun and come back with a larger, funnier, more entertaining issue late aug/early sept.

enjoy the summer all, hope the following provides some light beach reading

LOOK AT THIS MESS! :

in planning for an upcoming trip i've been stockpiling busy books and such for j. at the local craft store i took a stroll down the crayola aisle and was sucked in by the 'magic' paints and markers that only mark on special paper...

...then i began to wonder what's wrong with getting dirty in the first place? is it really finger painting if afterwards there's no paint on child or floor? why are we so concerned with keeping our children in neat little packages?...

MOTHER'S DAY:

...'c'mon mama really needs to pee'

'pee,pee, pee' my son responds

'you don't have to rub it in, c'mon'

'mama, elmo?'

'yes, elmo slept in your bed last night', i agree and continue to rush us to the stairs

'elmo, elmo mama?'

'do you need to get him? fine, just hurry up!' i'm practically jumping up and down at this point

'elmo' he points

'well pick him up already!' i snap as he slowly picks elmo up, gives him a half hearted hug and puts him down again

'jacob!' i raise my voice

'mama, shhh, elmo' he points to elmo lying in his bed

'oh, yes of course, anyone can see elmo is trying to sleep in'....

MOMTIME #4 GROUNDED!
now with full color cardstock covers
intro
my hubby
put down the binki!
lame music
potty mouth
adv. in walking w/ magna doodle art
the death of our godfather
herbal remedy tea baths
another child
turn the tv off!
cool mama art ( in color!)
morning
book & music reviews
goodbye grandma whalen
recipies ( all afternoon veggie soup & quickie soup)
cheap livin'
musings
playing house
i tried it! ( homemade books)
rest
adult behavior

intro:
i began this issue with the theme of being grounded by weather, temperment, and lifestyle. my main focus was exploring my attempt at a calming lifestyle amidst so much chaos. as i began to put this issue together little irritants kept popping up, the weather dropped to record breaking freezing temps, i slimly kept my job during an unofficial layoff, my computer broke...i thought things were pretty stressful and then all hell broke loose. within 2 weeks i lost two family members and at the same time learned how fortunate i am to have such a close family that is able to support one another.
i didn't plan on this issue being about death but i have also never needed to write about something so much. through it all we learned how vital our family is, as well as the simple pleasure of sitting down and reading the same story over and over on a cold winter's night.

POTTY MOUTH

the other day i was in the bathroom and looked over to the window which always has the blinds closed since it gives a prime view of the toilet ( we actually have 2 windows in the bathroom and the other looks directly into the tub, the previous owner must have been quite the show off!) it took me a minute to realize not only were there several tiny handprints, caused by yogurt? paint? do i even want to know? but my dearest little one had also bent several of the blinds, giving our neighbours a prime view of me peeing!

the worst of it is our other neighbours had gotten a prime view of my stretched and saggy nekkid body climbing into the tub the other week since i didn't realize j had used his blink opening skills for evil once again!

that done, i began washing dishes in the bathroom ( no kitchen sink) and i realized how quiet my son had been, originally he had been playing with his bath toys but on second glance i saw he was playing 52 pick up with my tampons, checking out the different sizes, colors, etc. and the thing was as long as it kept him quiet i really didn't care!

order this issue for $3 to include cool mama art centerfold in color or $2 without.

MOMTIME #3 - CHANGES
ESSAYS: ETC. :
my life thru my bags our fav. toys
my day off recipies : veg. shepards pie
drs. cont... mom's chop suey
parent behavior mexican bake & salsa
to take paternity leave or not centerfold: winter calendar
non parent view my latest obsession
playing house i tried it! - herb gardening
goodbye to summer live music reviews: elvis, ani
welcome fall sinead & johnny
walls books: family stuff, kids books,
car trouble and more

intro:

having a breast fed infant was simple. his car seat was his carrier, which also attached to his carriage so he could & did fall asleep whenever & wherever. j was born in the summer, making things even easier, a few diapers and an extra onsie were all we ever needed. once problems w/breast feeding began, things got a bit more complicated, but carrying around bottles & formula was easier than i thought. then came cool weather, heavier clothes, and blankets. j began to grow quite rapidly & said good-bye to his infant carrier before i was ready. oh well, i thought, that's one step closer to an umbrella stroller and cheerios that fit easily into a pocketbook. (please stop laughing, i know better now.)

j is a toddler now , off formula & in real outfits. i currently have 3 carriages in the back of my mini van - jogging stroller, proper carriage, and the aforementioned umbrella stroller. for outings when i need him to be quiet i have a bag of books and stickers. i still have my gi jane bag ( see bags piece) for my stuff and some of his. on longer outings i have a little lunch bag for soy milk, watered down juice, lunch, and of course cheerios. an extra set of clothes involves at least 3 items and it's not even winter yet. i still carry diapers of course, along with wipes and little plastic bags because toddler mess is much worse than infant poop. i carry a binki because he no longer falls asleep at the breast. i carry shoes because he's well on his way to independant walking. i bring a hat because he's no longer safe in the shelter of his infant carrier and i pack sunscreen because he has a limit for the hat. toys are no longer easy, he now requires loud, bulky things, but is thankfully still amused with a water bottle on ocassion. he needs a bib because he constantly has teeth coming in and he insists on feeding himself.
i am overwhelmed when packing for us to leave the house and yet despite all this i have never been happier.
everything changes when you become a parent. it seems almost silly to write that sentence, it's so obvious. from the bag you carry to the car you drive, it seems every aspect of your life is altered. this issue of MOMTIME is all about change...to prove it, i'm even sticking to a theme for a change!

55 pages
poorly drawn comix galore
get it now while you can!

MOMTIME #2 SUMMER DAYS

essays:
first steps
in between stages
joining a club
doctor's visit
walking to the beach
vacation '03
tales from work

colums,reviews, etc. :
our fav. new toys
just chuck it out the window & other famiy humor
honorable mention
best use of a new word
music: cat power, arlo guthrie, metallica & more
books: mothers who think, autobiography of a fat bride
centerfold: real life household
recipies (2), natural remedies ( tea tree oil) & i tried it ( waxing at home)

intro:
firsts
this, my second zine is all about firsts, at least that's the plan. seeing as my first zine turned out to be more about layout and really just getting some pent up creativity out. i'm now truning my attention to theme. first words, first steps, first nap in the crib, i'm sure you've got the idea by now. i'm stalling a bit to see if the movement in the next room is signaling the end of naptime or just an attempt at getting more comfy...
since starting this issue a lot has changed in the theme. there are still a lot of firsts, whether they be blurbs or just the fact that everything about this issue is different from the last. im basically tapped and am no longer making sense, but i'm getting closer to the idea in my head.
enjoy :)

first steps:
your son isn't crawling yet? at 7 months? not even trying? well what is he doing then?
though many moms seem to revel in the telling of their child's latest accomplishment, i cringe at the question. this is my first child, i'm under enough pressure...

order this with #1 for only $3.

MOMTIME #1 PREMIER ISSUE

includes the essays:

hippie mama

i'm trying to be a follower of attachment parenting, reallly i am. when i was in my early 20's, a vegetarian struggling to be a writer and perhaps an artist, interested in music and cooking, i always pictured myself a hippie...full fledged once i became a mom. i saw myself walking through eternal spring days, in loose flowing dresses with batik prints in a town not quite a suburb, not quite a city..

my terrible secret

i have been a mom for almost 6 months now. i have battled my inner demons on a daily basis. questionning myself daily as to whether i'm good enough to be a mom to j. do i deserve this child?

by far breastfeeding has proved to be my biggest challenge...

off to work i go

...six months into my new position i became pregnant... i planned on continuing up until my 9th month and then returning after 31/2 months materninty leave. i wasn't confident i would be returning. i didn't want to go back to work at all and if so not to the same job. 3 & 1/2 months went be and my hubby let me know he didn't want me to go back either but we really needed the added income. i thought about looking for a new job but with everything else in my life so new i felt i needed some familiarity...

sleep

before j was born everyone told me to sleep as much as humaly possible. get it all in now they said because you'll never have this time again. j was to be my firstborn & so this was my one pregnancy to savour. this would be the only pregnancy i could focus 100% on me & the only one my husband would be helpful during, the moms around me warned. they painted horror shows in my mind, barefoot & pregnant, with tiny little runny nosed toddlers pulling at my stained housecoat and no husband in sight. okay, i get it, i'll rest already...

the above essays plus a recipie & natural home remedy

momtime zine - one cranky mama

momtime is one mama's zine from the suburbs, dealing with the ups and downs of parenthood with humour whenever possible.
each issue is filled with essays, reviews, cartoons, pics, veggie recipies and more...
i print 4 times a year for $2 an issue or trades (generally i stick to other parenting zines for trades)
for ordering info you can contact me at momtimezine@aol.com